• About
  • Speaking
  • Consulting
  • Amber Hinds

  • Journal
  • Press
  • Contact

Amber Hinds

Gillette, WY
Life, Motherhood, Parenting
/
August 5, 2013

Exhaustion and Mommy Guilt

In my 28 years, I have moved nearly 20 times.  I lived in nine different houses in three different states before graduating from high school.  Once I went to college, I did the traditional move every year, and in the six years Chris and I have been married, we have lived in four different states and in six different houses.  This move was my 19th move.   I know it won’t be my last, but we’ll be bursting from the seams before I volunteer to move again because, at this point, I am D-O-N-E.

IMG_9845

Obviously, I haven’t written much lately.  I’m not doing much by way of websites either and I’ve been just rolling along with the girls, doing what it takes to survive and not a lot more.  I hate to admit it, but I let school slide and we ended up taking off a whole month.  Even when Nora asked to do school (which was pretty much every day), I usually said no, that there were dishes to be washed or boxes to be unpacked.  Most of July I felt like I was flirting with exhaustion…edging closer and closer to being burnt out with a To-Do list that wasn’t shrinking fast enough.  I had a hard time rallying, whether for story hour at the library or productivity after the girls’ bedtime, which includes blogging.  Even this post: I have tried to sit down and write it four times, but I just have not had the mental capacity to actually finish it.  All I wanted to do is join my girls in bed.

IMG_0008

Thankfully, this move was much easier than anticipated.  My father-in-law came up for a short visit and ended up staying to help me move since Chris wasn’t able to take any time off.

IMG_9846

Because of his assistance, we were able to move mostly in smaller truckloads over the course of a week, which meant moving into a house that was much more functional than not.  We have lived here a little over a week and I’m just down to the odds and ends boxes and pictures waiting to be hung on the wall.

We had Chris home for two days in a row last week.  It was the first time in a long time I can remember him having a “weekend” of sorts, and it was supposed to be the first of many.  That is one of the wonderful things about this job.  Once things settle in, Chris is supposed to have 5 day work weeks like most other people (albeit longer days those 5 days).  He has never had regular “weekends” since becoming a chef; I was so excited that last week was going to be the beginning of having him home more…and then things at the restaurant changed and instead of moving forward we are moving backward in the amount of hours he will be working.  I won’t lie, I’m disappointed.  I know it is just a phase, but boy can I not wait for it to be over.

IMG_0257

I feel a little guilty talking about how exhausted I am with this schedule.  Afterall, I don’t spend 12 to 16 hours every day on my feet sweating in a hot kitchen.  But guilty or not, it does feel hard to do 24/7 kids for so long.  As cute as they are, they’re still work.  Not to mention, trying to do websites and holding multiple La Leche League meetings per month…  Every time someone comes to visit, I am reminded of what I am missing without Chris at home.  It is amazing how much easier the end of the day is with someone else to help during the tough hours of 5-8.  Or how much faster I can wash dishes or fold laundry when I don’t have to stop every 10 minutes to assist or entertain.

I’ve been thinking about hiring a babysitter/mother’s helper to come a few hours per week just so I can get things done and maybe go to an occasional P.E.O. meeting.  I wasn’t sure that I truly wanted to do it because I don’t want to seem like one of those stay-at-home (you know the ones I’m talking about, with a nanny and a housecleaner just so they can play tennis and get their nails done).  I’ve been trying to remind myself that I’m not just a stay-at-home mom.  I work too.  And, I am a stay-at-home mom with a husband in a very demanding career. Yet, it still feels a little silly to hire a babysitter as a stay-at-home mom.  I am guilty of expecting myself to do it all even if it means surviving on five hours of sleep, and even though we are in the best financial situation we have been since getting married, I’m still very frugal about spending money on things that I could be doing on my own.

I’m trying to be better about giving myself a break and with this latest backward change in Chris’ schedule I think I’m going to get serious about finding someone to help out occasionally.   I’m just going to have to figure out how to not be embarrassed about it.

TAGS:Moving
5 Comments
Share
  • Jen
    August 5, 2013

    I think SAHM’s are the *exact* women who need a mommy’s helper/babysitter for those few errands and things that just can’t be done with kids underfoot! Remember it is only in recent history that isolated families without multi-generational help is the new norm. It would be one thing if you had a FT nanny to allow you to tend to your daily massages or something, but this is so so different. Don’t feel guilty or embarrassed and get some help if needed! Your kids will appreciate it b/c when you’re with them, you’ll be so much more present…

    Reply
  • Meagan
    August 6, 2013

    I used to swap watching kids with another mom. She would take mine for a few hours and then next time I would take hers. You probably don’t have the community or trust levels for that yet (maybe), but it might be an idea for down the road…

    Reply
  • Anu
    August 6, 2013

    Jen: There is nothing wrong with having a FT nanny to get a daily massage. Happy moms make happy kids 🙂

    Reply
  • Jessica
    August 6, 2013

    I say hire a mother’s helper. It’s funny how easy it is to suggest that for you, but I can’t seem to do it for myself even with working nights and struggling though the days with the kids. Why do we insist on doing it all ourselves?

    Reply
  • Amber
    August 10, 2013

    Thanks for the support everyone! I sent an email to see if I can hire someone from the local community college. I don’t think I want to do a swap situation right now, though we did that all the time in Nantucket. Hopefully we can find someone good until Chris can be home more again.

    Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Comment

Recipe Rating




Previous Post
Saturday Surfing
Next Post
Prairie Flowers

Life Right Now

aucoeur

View

Jan 22

12 2
Open
It's that time again... Girl Scout cookies! And this year we have two selling. Help them meet their cookies sales goals by ordering online. 

If you live nearby, choose girl delivery and help get cookie boxes out of our garage... Otherwise we're going to be giving them Girl Scout  Cookies for birthday and Christmas presents all year.

Addie's link: https://tinyurl.com/2os3rmdy

Zara's link: https://tinyurl.com/2nev4fs3

aucoeur

View

Nov 30

17 2
Open
Bus stop selfie with Nora. This week she moved from her tiny charter school with only 18 eighth graders to the public middle school with over 200. And now she rides the bus.

The charter school wasn't challenging her enough, has a huge percentage of students who are disruptive in the classroom, and has been having trouble keeping teachers. Last year she loved it. But this year it was one thing after another, so right before Thanksgiving she and I went to go tour our neighborhood  middle school, and she immediately wanted to make the switch.

We've never had a kid in public school and I was nervous about how the transition would go from such a small school to a big one, but so far she's loving it and is glad she decided to move schools. It helps that she knows kids there already from her dance team. Hopefully she'll still be happy when she starts getting homework. Coming from a no homework school that may be a shock to us all.

aucoeur

View

Nov 16

7 0
Open
My three year old girl. 💕

aucoeur

View

Nov 1

11 0
Open
Halloween 2022. Two witches, a murderous cat, and a creepy Victorian doll. 

Zara's costume was my favorite this year - Nora did her makeup and she wore my flower girl dress from my mom and step-dad's wedding. She might have worn it better. 😂

aucoeur

View

Oct 16

18 0
Open
Visiting my sweet tiny niece. I had the honor of being the doula at her birth and helping her come into the world. Her parents did amazingly (especially her mama) and everyone is excited to have another little girl in the family.
  • Start Reading
  • Explore Topics
  • Get in Touch
  • Subscribe

COPYRIGHT © 2020 AMBER HINDS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Site Powered by Pix & Hue.