4 Before 40

The featured image for this blog post captures me trying to make light of a stressful situation. TLDR: I’m fine but thinking more thoughtfully about the months and years ahead.

The backstory…

Two weeks ago, we moved houses. We moved out of the first home we bought in Texas post-full-time travel trailer living—the house where Vivienne was born—and into a new house we had built.

I was super excited about the move (and still am thrilled with our new house), but the end of September through October was more than a little overwhelming. It was 6+ weeks of nonstop go-go-go:

Traveling to and speaking at a conference (WordCamp US) at the end of September. The conference was terrific but resulted in much turmoil in our industry and uncertainty for business owners like me (a story for another day).
Two weeks later, WordPress Accessibility Day 2024 took place (the 24-hour virtual conference I co-lead).
Two weeks later, we had to move out of our house and into an Airbnb.
One week later, we moved into our new house.

… All while managing a heavier-than-usual load at work and all the typical kid activities and life stuff.

This is all setting it up to say that, in mid-October, my stress level was nearing 100 percent, and my amount of sleep was definitely at the opposite end of that scale when I passed out while in a retail store.

I came to after being unconscious for three or four minutes. People were crowded around, asking if I was okay, and someone was on the phone with 911. They told me I had been shaking, which led to questions about whether it might have been a seizure.

I didn’t want to ride in an ambulance, so I called Chris, and he took me to the ER, where I spent nearly four hours undergoing blood work, an EKG, a CT scan, and other tests. Also, I spent many moments in a room by myself feeling embarrassed and impatient to get on with my to-do list, but not before taking the clickbaity selfie above, which probably brought you to this blog post.

In the end, the doctors speculated it was a combination of stress and dehydration, and thankfully, they found nothing to be concerned about. They did not think I had had a seizure and saw nothing wrong with my heart, so I left with instructions to take it easy and drink lots of water.

I’m drinking lots of water and maybe getting more sleep. The verdict is still out on that one.

Four Months to 40

In four months, I will turn 40.

I have a teenager who is learning to drive. My baby is turning five this week. And as my body told me oh-so-loudly two weeks ago, I’m not as young as I used to be and can’t keep going at 90mph on only 5 hours of sleep.

I’m about to be middle-aged and keep wondering, where does the time go? (I’ve probably asked that question a million times on this blog over the years and still haven’t figured out how to slow things down.)

Entering a new decade or passing a significant milestone always gets me thinking. I’m naturally reflective, and I love setting goals and planning. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this blog post since my birthday last March; I just never made time to sit down and write it.

The oddity of a short-term scary moment combined with the big milestones we’ve passed this month has finally motivated me to commit to this idea that I’ve been mulling over for the past eight months: sharing with the world four goals I want to accomplish before I turn 40.

Remember 30 Before 30?

Setting goals before a decade won’t sound unusual to my family and old friends. The year I turned 29, I wrote a post called 30 Before 30 with a list of 30 things I wanted to accomplish before hitting the big 3-0.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t check off all 30, as some were quite ambitious. Also, I was:

freelancing,
founding a nonprofit,
caring for a 4-year-old and 1-year-old without childcare, and
living on a very tight budget.

So maybe that list wasn’t wholly realistic, to begin with.

By the eve of my 30th birthday, I had only completed 15 things on my 30 Before 30 list (see the end-of-year recap here). Although I didn’t get everything done in the year that I had intended, I still really enjoyed the concept, and so I’ve found myself thinking that perhaps I should do something similar this year to wrap up my 30s and welcome my 40s.

I’m a little more pragmatic this time and do not plan to do something wild like “40 before 40.” There are only 4 months left until my birthday, so it seems appropriate to lop off the zero and, instead, choose four purposeful goals to accomplish in that time that will set me off on the right path for the next decade.

My 4 Before 40

When deciding on only four goals, I wanted to choose four things that will have a meaningful impact in the long run. I decided that it made sense to choose one goal from each of these categories: personal, health, work, and fun.

With that in mind, here are the four things I want to accomplish before turning forty.

1. Build a weekly blogging habit.

First on my list: I want to start blogging again and post at least once a week.

Over the past seven or eight years, there haven’t been many posts here, and many of those were about how I would start blogging again—only to have months pass in between. Blogging was difficult for me, primarily due to growing business and family demands. Also, at times when I most wanted to be open about my experiences and struggles, I feared that doing so could have negative repercussions on our business.

For years, I blogged daily and incredibly transparently, but as our business grew, that level of transparency felt more risky, and I abandoned writing as an outlet. Now, I’m at a point where I want to be more honest about the challenges of business ownership, parenting, and life, and I want to start blogging regularly again. So, I’m ripping the fear bandaid off today with this post, acknowledging that things are not always perfect, and hitting publish.

The next biggest hurdle will be figuring out how to make time for it. I aim to write a post by the end of every Sunday, hopefully not in the wee hours of the morning. I have loads of ideas for content; now, I need to experiment with ways to fit blogging into my schedule, get posts out faster, and build back motivation to squeeze in writing during small moments of downtime.

2. Create (and stick to) healthier habits around exercise, sleep, and sugar.

Passing out in a store and spending the afternoon in the emergency room is, perhaps, a wake-up call that I’m not as invincible as I once was. There are only so many hours in a day, and my body can only do so much.

I might be cheating by combining these things into one broader goal, but I’m grouping them as they’re all central to good health, living my best life, and being present for my daughters for many, many years to come.

With that broad goal in mind, here are the micro-SMART(ish) (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timebound) goals I want to achieve over the next 4 months:

Exercise at least twice a week. I’m “good” at off-and-on running, frequently letting work or busy schedules get in the way, which leads to weeks without exercising. I need to figure out an exercise schedule I can consistently stick to (the goal is to decide on that later this week) and do it. The outcome of this more consistent exercise is…
I want to be able to run a 5K without stopping before my birthday. I plan to register for the Valentine’s run in my city, so that’s my deadline.
Get at least 7 hours of sleep per night. For the past 8-10 years, I have lived in a near-perpetual state of tiredness. I always have more on my plate than hours in the day, and I typically work a second shift from 9 PM-1 AM, then get up at 6:30 AM to start the next day. I plan to work backward from my wake-up time and ensure I’m in bed with enough time to get 7 hours of sleep, but this isn’t going to happen instantly. There are other changes I need to make first so I can be in bed earlier. My hope is I can work those changes out by January 1 (perhaps working up to the 7 hours) and then consistently be getting 7 hours of sleep each night by mid January.
Eat less sugar. This is the least SMART of all the goals, and I plan to refine it in the future. But, for now, I’ll say I eat way more sugar than I probably should, especially late at night when I’m working and looking for energy. I don’t fuel with coffee; I fuel with chocolate, cookies, and brownies. Getting more sleep may partially solve this. In the short term, I aim to determine a reasonable amount of sugar I should be eating. Then, I will adjust my eating habits to reflect that amount in the long term.

I’ll be happy if I feel more well-rested and generally fit 9 out of 10 days (or more) by my 40th birthday. It’ll also be a nice bonus if I can fit into some of those clothes in my closet that I haven’t been able to wear for the past three years, but if I can’t and I otherwise feel good by my birthday, I’ll still call it a win.

3. Be on a path toward profitability in our business that doesn’t require excessive work hours.

There is so much to unpack here, and I plan on writing much more about Equalize Digital and my work-life balance (or lack thereof) soon. In the meantime, for the sake of wrapping up this blog post and getting to bed (since it is midnight already), I will summarize the result I’m hoping to achieve:

I want to be able to work regular 40- or 45-hour weeks and not feel as though I’m falling behind if I do so.
I want to spend weekends with my kids, not at my computer.
I want to get more sleep (as mentioned earlier) without feeling like I’m falling behind.
When we’re closed for a holiday, I want to not work.
I want to participate more in our kids’ activities and not miss opportunities to watch them.

Essentially, this all boils down to a general thought that it all goes so fast, and I only have a few years before Nora heads off to college. I don’t want the girls’ memories to be me always at work, so I must find a better balance.

4. Ride in a hot air balloon.

This is my fun goal and should be the easiest one to achieve.

It’s a carry-over from my 30 before 30 list. I wanted to ride in a hot air balloon then but couldn’t make it happen. Now that the previous financial and childcare barriers are gone, it will happen! If I can’t find hot air balloon rides nearby, I’ll drive or fly somewhere simply to ride in a hot air balloon.

Chris, when you read this, FYI, this is a giant Christmas or birthday gift hint… 😉

Monitor my progress

Do you want to monitor my progress on these goals or get notified as I publish new posts? I’m starting an email list again because there’s nothing like people waiting for blog posts to keep me accountable for my weekly blogging goal.

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