In this week’s New York Times Magazine, Lisa Belkin wrote about the metamorphosis of married women’s identities, which lead to a discussion on her blog about what it means to be a good wife. The magazine article is largely about the difference between Belkin’s mother’s identity as a wife and Belkin’s own identity, in contrast, as a mother. She argues that for a variety of reasons that
“Housewife” disappeared from the language completely, and “wife and mother” became “working mom” or “stay-at-home mom” or “soccer mom.”
which really started me thinking about whether I identify myself most as Mrs. Christopher Hinds
or as Nora’s Mama
I probably tend to identify myself more as the mother than the wife, but not because I’m rejecting the starched apron, from-scratch pie crust, or freshly mopped hardwood floors (okay, maybe I do want to skip out on that last one), but rather because, as Belkin writes, that is today’s predominate view of married women. When the tide of the Feminine Mystique swept through the 60’s it pulled any good out of the “homemaker” or “housewife” titles, drowned under the clamoring to “have it all.” Never mind that since the early 2000’s, there’s been a strong drift back towards the home, as women realize that maybe its just not possible to have it all. I certainly don’t think it is.
But, of course, I’m in the minority. I kind of did go to college for my MRS degree; at least, that’s why I stayed there, for Chris. And I think it would be great to just be Mrs. Christopher Hinds at home with Nora, keeping house. Baking and cooking (sometimes), gardening, and canning, sewing and, yes, even cleaning. It’d be even better if we were on a farm. And I’d be more than happy to be called Mrs. – because I never am, except for the rare envelope or package from my grandmother (which secretly thrills me).
So, maybe some day soon that will be a reality. Or, I’d also probably be happy if I could just be a Home Economics teacher…
And because you really only come for pictures of Nora:
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